The premise of Karen Mack and Jennifer Kaufman's 2006 novel Literacy and Longing in L.A. is this: Dora, a voracious reader, has never quite abandoned her childhood habit of binging on books when she's going through a rough time. Romantic troubles, a stalled career, and a failed marriage - all of these drive her to barricade her doors, unplug the phone and lose herself in novel after novel for days.
I do this, too.
I've mentioned one or two times here that I had a bit of a rough semester. This isn't a blog about my thoughts and feelings, but for the purposes of this post I'll just say that it was a year of new experiences and ridiculous academic pressure. Since school ended in May I've "dealt" with it by escaping into literature and upholding the bare minimum of contact with friends and family. I am working an undemanding summer job and my shifts have been cut quite a bit recently, so I have a lot of free time.
I'm sure it's the same for a lot of adults who used to be bookish children. My large, noisy family has always tired me out. Every so often I need a retreat from reality and books have always provided that. As a child at family parties I would hide in a bedroom or secluded nook somewhere and read, with the laughter and teasing from the dinner table as background music. I became quite adept at focusing on a novel and shutting out the world around me.
And now, though I love to spend time with friends, I can disappear for days, turn down invitations, even ignore my phone sometimes... in favour of reading. What is this impulse to turn to novels - all some form of fantasy, even the starkest realist fiction - instead of real life? I don't know whether my recent excessive reading (I've read about twelve books in the past three weeks, which is a lot for me) has helped me deal with what happened this semester or just pushed it farther away.
In Mack and Kaufman's book Dora's book binges are troubling, suggestive of depression or social anxiety disorder. But can book binges - or novel reading in general - be a way to relate to society? Bookish types are often shy and introverted. I wouldn't use those words to describe myself, but I'm a private person, and I find it most relaxing to be alone rather than around others. For those of us who are exhausted by the actual fact of social interaction, maybe books are a way to get over ourselves. A sort of practice attempt at real life, maybe.
I'm not sure why I turn to books when things are rough, aside from the fact that I love to read and I've been doing it my whole life. Of course, many people love to read, and I'm usually reading something or other, but when I'm upset or tired my reading becomes something else, almost more physical than intellectual. I devour books one after another, finishing whole novels in a few hours, hoarding my stack of books-to-be-read almost greedily.
Tell me, other comfort readers, if you're out there: is this just a habit at this point, a mechanism we use to escape for a while until we can move on from whatever's bothering us? Or is it the way we avid readers deal with the world?
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3 comments:
Hello K,
I'm very sorry to read that you've been going through a tough time...
It's almost a relief to know that other adults besides myself use books as a shelter from the demands and din of the "real" world. As a child, I remember hating get-togethers of any sort because there would be noise, bustle, and the frustrating impossibility of being alone with my books and thoughts.
I'm not certain whether, in my case, this immersion into literature constitutes a way to escape from the stress of social interraction, part of a subtle healing process, or a means of dealing with the world through a novel's representation of it by somewhat softening its sharper edges. Heaven knows there have been times when I wish I could find answers between the pages of a novel... What I do know is that it's absolutely essential to my continued sanity!
Thanks, Deleilan. I think that reading can suit different purposes at different times. I love to read all the time - it seems to be a different kind of reading when I'm upset, almost desperate. Like an escape attempt? Haha. Thanks for your thoughts!
".....Every so often I need a retreat from reality and books have always provided that. As a child at family parties I would hide in a bedroom or secluded nook somewhere and read, with the laughter and teasing from the dinner table as background music. I became quite adept at focusing on a novel and shutting out the world around me......"
".....though I love to spend time with friends, I can disappear for days, turn down invitations, even ignore my phone sometimes... in favour of reading. What is this impulse to turn to novels - all some form of fantasy, even the starkest realist fiction - instead of real life.....?"
You sound like you're an introvert. It's difficult being one because most people (75%) are extroverts.
Extroversion is therefore the behavioral norm. So, to be normal you must have lots of friends, and love going to parties, and joining groups, and all of that.
If you don't like doing this because you are an introvert, you are made to feel an oddity.
I know about all this because I'm an introvert myself. An extreme one.
But, here's the good news - 25% of people are introverts. You are not alone.
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